When “Good Enough” Never Feels Enough

Perfectionism isn’t just wanting things to go well, it’s feeling like they have to. For me, perfectionism was never about excelling or impressing others; it was about survival. The moment something was wrong, anything from a misplaced detail to a failure I couldn’t ignore, my mind would spiral.

It wasn’t just frustration or disappointment, it felt like something inside me unraveled. I’d feel a desperate need to replace whatever wasn’t right, because deep down, I was convinced that if I wasn’t perfect, I would be replaced.

Maybe it stems from early experiences. Maybe it’s how I learned to attach my worth to my performance or the way I appeared to others. But the reality is that perfectionism isn’t glamorous or admirable, it’s exhausting. It’s a heavy weight that drags you into a cycle of panic, overthinking, and shame.

When something didn’t go as planned, I’d replay it endlessly, as if dissecting it would undo the mistake. My mind would say, “You should have done better.” “You aren’t good enough”. And with it came the fear; if I’m not perfect, I’m not good enough. If I’m not good enough, I’m replaceable.

It’s a hard truth to face, but perfectionism doesn’t protect you. It doesn’t keep people close, or keep your life under control, it isolates you. It stops you from trying new things because you’re terrified of failing. It prevents you from enjoying the moment because you’re already bracing for what could go wrong. And most of all, it convinces you that you are only as valuable as your ability to “get it right.”

But here’s the truth: perfect isn’t real. Life isn’t about flawless performance, it’s about showing up as you are. Messy, imperfect, human. The people who love you don’t need you to be perfect to value you. You don’t need to be perfect to be enough.

I’m slowly letting go of the idea that mistakes make me replaceable. I’m learning to sit with imperfection, even when it’s uncomfortable. Some days are easier than others, but on the hard days, I remind myself:

• I am not replaceable just because I’m flawed.

• My worth isn’t defined by how well I perform.

• Growth matters more than perfection.

You don’t need to earn your place by being perfect. You are enough, just as you are. Your imperfections don’t make you less deserving, they make you real. And real is so much better than perfect.